Sally Ann Jones, Sally Ann Jones don’t you leave me now cos I’ve been to war and my heart hurts.

They wrote mama that I’d lost my legs in Italy. Spent Christmas Eve in a mud hole. God it was cold until the water froze and the stars came out. Then I don’t remember anything but dreams that never come true and they found me two days later. I wouldn’t let them take my legs. How come the toes are still attached; I don’t know? Gangrene never set in, but it should have. They can’t find any circulation below my knees but if the docs cut me I bleed. They wrote mama I still had my legs in Italy.

I remember the pigtails and your chubby face. Sis and you side by side on a porch swing shellin’ peas.

Come home to find you fixin’ to marry that sailor. Ran him off the porch while you were dressing to leave. Boy, were you hot when he never showed. Had to cart you off the next day to Hernando and marry you myself to calm ya down.

Life was pretty slow at the time but I was quick. Jumped up and ran at life, I did. If it wasn’t to our liking I’d just build one that was. Nailed on roofs when I had to sweep the snow off the decking. Built shotgun after white clap board shotgun. Built a town that could be mine. Built a pumpkin shell and kept us in it. Put my mama in one end of it to help you take care of the boys. Big boys, fine boys, my boys!

Bought up property, bought up mortgages, cars, fine things, we saw Florida. Our idea of the exotic.

Had to leave the boys with Sis because of school. You and me got on so good together. It was always you and me.

Daddy used to sit the boys on the bar. Mama couldn’t stand that. Couldn’t find the ol’ man and sure enough he’d have the boys sitting on a bar somewhere telling tales. Mama never touched a drop.

He called mama “Monkey” and she stood four inches over him. He was cavalry and could sit tall in the saddle. He stared mama down over a board house supper and said he would marry her right then. Of course she didn’t like him, but a railroad man had been bothering her to live in Clarksdale and daddy made a good excuse. Daddy painted away the depression. He painted every stone street marker in the town of Memphis. He died in ‘54 at Thanksgiving. They’ve just about done away with all those stone street markers.

The expressway took the house uptown. Left only a triangle of the lot, not good for nothing. Can’t even put a billboard on it cos it’s not far enough off the road. Guess I don’t own it any more because of the seven year law. Haven’t payed any taxes anyway. Someone bought and moved part of the house but I’ve never seen it anywhere.

The boys are keen on baseball; or I am. We sit, and sweat, and run up and down the highway all summer winning trophies and plaques to gather dust. The little one keeps hurting himself all the time a and the older one won’t tell me of his pain. You watch and cheer and don’t really understand.

Fall means hunting, and the yard become a pack of dogs, and the den becomes guns, and jackets, and bright orange caps. Beagles are a funny breed and infectious to other dogs. They’ll teach anything around ‘em to scratch standing up, howl at the moon, and drag their ass in the dirt as they walk in circles. I haven’t any use for a dog that can’t work for it’s livin’.

The boys and me, we’re proud of those dogs and make many trips to The Island and Holly Springs National Forest. We hunt for squirrel, rabbit, quail; whatever is in season. Your twin nephews make our adventures a story worth telling later. There was that blue tick ordered from a magazine. The only thing that dog could do was howl.

Thought Johnnie was gonna kill that dog when it took off running while the chain was wrapped around his fingers. He would have too if he’d ever seen that ol’ dog again. And the station wagon, the axle broke rounding the turn on Airways one day. Finally just plain lost that car in McKeller Park, though it wasn’t much to loose.

My Mama inherited that mountainside in Arkansas. You in your heels and seamed silk hose. When we got out to walk it was all rocks and copperheads straight up to heaven. Never did see that property again.

Ford went our of business here. Packed Sis and her family lock, stock, and barrel in their station wagon. Pulled that car behind my Cadillac all the way to Ohio. After creating that kind of circus they were back before Christmas. Said there wasn’t nothing in Ohio but Negros and rats. Leroy’s been at Kellogg’s ever since. There’s a rut from his front door to the plant.

Mama’s never had a man after Daddy died. Never drove or drank, but is known to cuss real well at times. Went back to operating a switch board until her social security started coming. She rode the bus downtown when it was alive to different hotels to plug in on one night lives. She was liberated long before somes’ ears where dry behind.

The stoke was a surprise to everyone. Mama was real good but the nurse was kind of upset when she found Sis in the bed asleep. Said Sis couldn’t be in the room alone again. Relatives crawl out of the wood work at heart breaking times. Daddy’s sister was so disturbed you had to take her to the lady’s room to turn her clothes right side out. Mama and that old lady hated each other’s guts. Wouldn’t even speak at normal times. I don’t even know where most of that side of the family is now.

Anyway they weren’t invited to the boys weddings. Lost both those kids about the same time.

The little one had some red haired girl hanging around for a long time. I knew I should have run her off. Don’t really believe that Johnnie could stand the thought of being with his brother. You put that baby in his bed and he slept with his leg across him right from the start. Johnnie thought he was responsible ever since. Married him some snotty know it all girl who doesn’t quite feel at ease with anyone but mama and Sis. Calls us mama and dad though. She forces herself to have guts. Both them boys went off and joined the service. The little one the Navy and Johnnie The Marines.

I guess it was some luck neither saw that Vietnam War cos I sure didn’t understand it. There was no glory in it. At least it gave me and my boys something to talk about when we were together. We could understand about guns, and ships and learning to kill. I wish we could have talked about learning to live.

I don’t much care for living since ‘68. The tax man took the house. Spent my 19th birthday in a damn hole in Italy. I don’t owe this country any more. The sign in front of the house says, “Keep Out. Report anyone removing property to the US Government, which constitutes a federal offense.” The boys took it down twice. I even ripped the phones out of the walls. That red haired girl couldn’t find us for a week.

The boys spent their honeymoons at mama’s. She was in Jackson for the winter at Baby’s. Didn’t either of those boys have any money, just the promise of the steady paying military service in March. The heater was out and after two days the red haired girl and son was home sick under blankets in the next room. The older one was more stubborn and stayed sick at mama’s. And mama came home on ‘em, married only a few days.

Then the babies came. Girls, everyone of them babies is a girl. What do I know about a baby girl? Ya got to treat ‘em different than boys Who knows what you do if you have girls?

Me and you got a lot of miles. Worn a lot of rubber looking for that lucky shamrock hoping to be a big as I think. It was easy to hold my one sided conversations. You didn’t care, you gave me the light I stood in.

Sally Ann Jones, Sally Ann Jones don’t you leave me now cos I’ve been to war and my heart hurts.

Written by Cheryl Ellis