CounterConspiracy Comics: Holy Driver

Issue #0

“Prologue”

PANEL 1 – Splash Page

FREDDIE sits in a sauna wearing only a towel and an expression of annoyance. A middle-aged MAN with a wild look in his eyes and his finger pointed towards the ceiling sits next to him.

MAN:

How old are you son? Early twenties am I right?

I was your age in the 80’s. Those were crazy times and I did a lot of wild stuff, believe me!

Nothing too bad.. I never killed nobody.. Just small time stuff with my buddy Bill. He’s dead now. Died in prison. We ran a couple check scams and moved a little product for the Cartel on the weekend in our boat. Just little stuff like that.

Just being young and wild and trying to make a buck. Have some fun. You know how it is!

But, there was this one time we brought a couple girls along on a drop. Real hotties. And Julio told us to leave them to sweeten the deal. We had done so much coke we couldn’t see straight! We didn’t know what to do, so…

FREDDIE:

Dude! No offense, but I’m trying to relax.

PANEL 2

Closeup of MAN. His skin is pink and he is sweating profusely. His eye’s are wide and wild. His mouth is open and drops of spit are fly as he talks.

MAN:

We made it home, but just barely. And the girls..  They were not hurt all that much.. uh.. physically. But, they were really freaked out.

The next morning I ran straight to the nearest church and begged for forgiveness. I grabbed a Bible and read it cover to cover right there in the pew!

PANEL 3

MAN standing in front of FREDDIE. FREDDIE still sitting with a blank look on his face.

MAN:

That was the day the eternal love of Jesus Christ flooded into my heart!

I was forever changed! I was born again!

FREDDIE:

Good for you man.

PANEL 4

MAN sitting close to FREDDIE and talking directly in his ear. FREDDIE faces forward, mouth shut tight, eyes casting a far-off stare.

MAN:

I bet you’re wild too. A man’s 20s are a crazy time. Lusting after women. Coveting sin.

Jesus can save you too son!

Accept him as your lord and savior and all of your sins will be forgiven! Then on Judgment Day, your eternal soul can enter into heaven and you can stand alongside God almighty!

YOU CAN BE SAVED!

FREDDIE:

Look bruh. Go preach somewhere else.

We’re in a sauna for Christ sake!

PANEL 5

MAN in FREDDIE’S face. FREDDIE is still sitting. MAN is standing in front of him.

MAN:

Don’t you BLASPHEME!

I was like you! You must be saved! Be born again or BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!

FREDDIE:

That’s it!

YOU DON”T  KNOW ME!

PANEL 6

FREDDIE and the MAN stand face-to-face. FREDDIE is younger, taller, and in much better shape. He is looking down on the older, portly, balding MAN.

FREDDIE:

Let me break it down for you Mr. Sauna Evangelist, that I have never seen before in my life!

You were a piece of shit when you were “my age”. You did something bad and you couldn’t forgive yourself so you offloaded the guilt to SPACE SANTA.

YOU ARE A WRETCH!

Wretches need religion and its rules because they can’t control themselves. They’re weak and they’re scared and that makes them marks for scam artists promising forgiveness & salvation!

I am not a wretch or a mark. So.. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!

PANEL 7

MAN exiting the sauna. FREDDIE sits in the background looking at this phone.

MAN:

I’ll pray for you.

FREDDIE:

Whatever.

PANEL 8

FREDDIE’S hand holding his phone open to a messaging app.

TEXT ON PHONE (FROM SNAKE):

You need to come home. Lorene is dead.

Written by Will Kilpatrick

Holy Driver created by Will Kilpatrick

Copyright 2023 Holy Driver. Owned by Counterconspiracy Comics. All rights reserved. No portion or elements of this project may be reproduced or transmitted, in any form or means, 
without the express written permission of Counterconspiracy Comics LLC.